To Do No Harm

Several times over the last few weeks, I’ve heard people ask, “How, in this world, can you do no harm?” They’ve also asked, “Okay I don’t want to do harm, but what do I do when I’m being harmed, do I do nothing?” I will be preaching on this subject over the next few weeks, but I hope to help unpack these thoughts a bit more today.

When we ponder the above questions, it does seem unimaginable to actually live a life where you/I do no harm. I suppose one could escape to the woods, but then the question of how we impact our local environment would come into play and what would that do to our loved ones? So, today, I will not go down that road. Too, most of us know the steps we need to take to limit our harm to the local environment, etc. As important as the question, “how do I do no harm to our world” is, the introductory questions arise primarily out of personal relationships. It is to how we harm or do not harm in our relationships that I now turn.

“Okay I don’t want to do harm, but what do I do when I’m being harmed, do I do nothing?”

Way too often this is where we find ourselves, in a situation where we feel harmed but not sure of how to respond. Before speaking of what doing no harm is, let’s look at what it is not. This is not a comprehensive list but you’ll get the idea.

It is not being nice—in that sickly sweet, “just make everything ok” falsehood.

It is not being silent—in that “don’t make waves” mentality.

It is not allowing yourself to be abused in anyway shape or form.

It is not telling white lies so as to massage one another’s egos.

It is not just letting your mouth run amuck without serious reflection and discernment.

It is not protecting someone from the truth for fear that it might upset or hurt them.

It is also not being passive. It is quite the opposite. Retired Bishop Job of the United Methodist Church tells us that to “do no harm is a proactive response to all that is evil—all that is damaging and destructive to humankind and God’s good creation” which thereby is destructive to us (Three Simple Rules: A Wesleyan Way of Living, Nashville, Abingdon, 2007, p. 30). He goes on to say that to do no harm is a life that is active but restrained.

What is it that guides our restraint?

First, we are not restrained by coercion. We are invited to live an abundant life want to be faithful to our best selves. That best self is found in following Christ. To follow in our gift of freedom, we restrain ourselves out of a desire to love God, neighbor, and self and to become more fully the love of God in the world. Our faith story which comes to us through scripture and tradition guides us. Central to that story is the Great Commandment taught by Jesus Christ: love God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength; and you must love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:30). From this we get the rules of 1) do no harm, 2) do good, and 3) stay in love with God. These rules come from the General Rule of the United Methodist Church. So, we can see that from scripture and our faith tradition that doing no harm is central to our identity and has been as a people for millennia.

But the question asks, “What do I do?” What does it look like to put this into practice? One central truth of doing no harm is that its foundation must come from love that sacrifices. Its power comes from a love that wants to lay down and disarm the weapons of power and coercion, the weapons of shame and guilt, the weapons of one-upmanship and bullying, the weapons of deception and manipulation. None of these weapons can guide us to a life of doing no harm. Only when we desire to love our enemy as we are loved by God can we embody compassion, kindness, humility, and forgiveness.

Many scriptures guide us toward this kind of love. From Colossians 3:12 we are told to clothe ourselves in compassion, in kindness, in humility, and in forgiveness, and from Ephesians 4:29 we hear these words, “Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear.”

Doing no harm requires us to ask ourselves, “are the words I am about to say intended to build up the person or tear them down? Are they meant to place me in a position of one-upmanship or a place of humility and kindness?”

Doing no harm asks us to want the best for the person we are fearful of, who we are in opposition to, and who may want to discount us in every way.

Doing no harm requires us to ask, “What is important for me to say so as to protect myself from harm but at the same time not with the intent to demean or shame the other?”

In each of these examples there is a proactive restrained response.

I’ve said a whole lot and so I invite you to respond. What do you think about this life guided by unconditional love, compassion, kindness, humility, and forgiveness that is embodied through proactive but restrained engagement?